Musings Before the End of the World
by Lake Desire
Summary: Cordelia\'s thoughts about Jobs, dealing particularily with the school dance and the infamous kiss. PG-13 for language.


Untitled 

Cordelia leaned back on her bed, hands behind her back, staring at the flatscreen that shifted flickered from scene to scene above her head. The emotional progression portrayed in the photographs seemed so much like her life lately. How affectionate she'd been for Hondo, the handsome, muscular half-Japanese junior who'd been the object of her infatuation since she'd stated ninth grade at Carmel High School. With the shock of their breakup, she'd felt indifferent. How did it matter whether they were together or not? Who cared? Then when the realization hit that he had done her wrong, she grew contemptful. 

One might not expect contempt to grow into lust. Neither did Cordelia. Last Wednesday, he'd caught her at her locker. She'd told him he had no business talking to her, but he pushed her back against the wall and kissed her. Cordelia forgot everything he'd done before, only the good memories rushing back, and accepted his invite to the dance. 

"Cordy, there is a young man here to pick you up!" her father called from downstairs. She cringed at her nickname. One of these days she'd have to decide on an alias just to get her parents to stop calling her Cordy. 

"I'm coming," she replied, jumping up from her bed. She passed by her mirror, running her hand through her authentic blond hair and making sure her pincam and privacy button were in place. She hoped she looked alright. Since the dance was casual, she'd decided on her new pair of metallic silver jeans under a plain white blouse. 

"Honey, we want you to be extra careful and have a good time," her mother said, giving her a kiss on each cheek. Cordelia's family hadn't approved of their daughter dating an older boy so they seemed uneasy when she'd told them he'd asked her to the dance. But they trusted their her, giving her freedom to mostly do her own thing and learn from her mistakes. 

"Don't worry mom, I will," she smiled and darted out the door. 

"Hey, babe," Hondo greeted, curling his arm protectively around her shoulders. "Ready?" 

"Yup," she responded cheerfully. Her spirits were high. Her and Hondo were back together, just like old times. The dance was going to be a blast. 

Cordelia stood, head pressed against Hondo's chest as his arms rested on the small of her back. They slowly swayed to an old Backstreet Boys song, an ancient boy band that had broken up when she was in grade school. Her mother, who been a fan as a teenager, had been distraught over it, but Cordelia could not have cared less. When the song ended, she excused herself to use the restroom. 

When Cordelia was finished, she sauntered back into the gym, feeling light hearted and refreshed. She scanned the crowds for Hondo. She spotted his dark haired, bulky figure among a group of juniors freak dancing to the techno beat blasting on the loudspeakers. No wait, that couldn't be him, she thought. Hondo wouldn't be dancing with Slag, one of the school's most reputable sluts, yet alone rubbing against her with their lips locked. Yet it was unmistakable. Cordelia's heart sank. She shoved her way the crowd, silently pleading she was seeing things, that it wasn't what it looked like. 

"What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing!?" she demanded, pausing between each word she spat, face flushed with anger. Cordelia never swore. 

Slag and Hondo both looked up, surprised that sweet little Cordelia would dare use a profanity. Slag draped her arm across Hondo's back and stroked his chest with the other. "What do you want, little girl?" she sneered. She didn't earn her reputation, or alias, for nothing. 

Cordelia ignored the busty sophomore and glared at Hondo, fighting to hold back tears. Her former boyfriend laid his free hand on her shoulder. Cordelia shoved him away, knocking off her privacy button in the process. "Why did you want to get back together with me?" 

"Cordelia, I never said I wanted to get back with you," Hondo said, failing miserably as he tried to sound sincerely apologetic. "My parents like you and wouldn't let drive their car to the dance unless I took you!" 

She'd heard enough. Cordelia turned and ran, shoving people out of her way, tears flowing freely now. She flew out of the gym and plopped down against the wall in the hallway leading to the restrooms. She hung her head low, not caring if anyone saw her. How could he do that? After all the months they'd spent going together, how could he just break up like that? Was it because of her age? Her reluctance to move past second base? 

A few girls asked her what was wrong, but she brushed them off. After twenty minutes of feeling sorry for herself, she realized someone had sat down beside her. She looked up, surprised. 

"Jobs?" she asked between sniffles. 

"Yeah," he spoke softly, but his concern was clear. "Cordelia… did Hondo do something to you?" 

She nodded, surprised by his perceptiveness. Jobs didn't say anything, just waited for her to continue, if she choose to. When she realized he was actually interested in hearing what happened, she let it all spill. "You really want to know?" 

He nodded and smiled a soft, faint grin. Cordelia took a deep breath. 

"Okay, but you asked for it." She forced a weak smile. "I know we didn't go to the same middle school, but I was always kind of a geek. I had friends and all, but you should have seen me. I was a skinny little thing, with a big mop of frizzy hair, not that it mattered. I'd barely ever said two words to a boy before because I was so terribly shy. 

"I guess I finished puberty or something, because back in September Hondo asked me out. Hondo was a junior, and popular. I was too intimidated to say yes, but he kept pursuing me." 

Cordelia went on, telling about her first dates with Hondo, and how wonderful she felt knowing someone cared for her, that someone that could get any girl would choose her. 

"After a few months, I guess Hondo bored with kissing me. He wanted to, you know," she stressed, fighting a blush. "He was real romantic about it, taking me to his house when his parents weren't home and cooking me dinner. I was so naïve, I didn't know what he intended. I freaked out when I finally got a clue, and he said I'd been leading him on. I guess that is why we broke up." 

Jobs never took his eyes off hers, just silently letting her vent. He was so unlike Hondo. He didn't try to take advantage of the situation or interrupt with some story about himself. Why couldn't she get a boyfriend like Jobs? Nice guys were a rarity in high school, it seemed. 

"Hondo was sweet, acted like he cared about me, and then blows me off. I'm just so frustrated how he could run so hot and cold with me. Sorry to be burdening you with my problems, I guess it just feels good to talk about it." 

Cordelia wasn't normally one to act on impulse, but as soon as the popped into her head she found herself acting. She scooted close to Jobs, rose one had to his cheek, and planted long, wet kiss upon his lips. 

"Thanks," she whispered, pulling away. Jobs' mouth hung open with shock, then curled into a puppyish grin. Before he could find words to reply, she rose and cast him a coy smile. Returning to the dance, her spirits were high. Forget Hondo, because there were much more decent guys out there. 

"Hey babe." Cordelia spun around. Hondo loomed before her, looking naked without Slag attached to his hip. "Sorry about before, I wasn't thinking." 

"You're right, you weren't. Oops." 

Cordelia slapped him. 

"I don't know why I bothered with you, wench," she heard him mutter. She wore a triumphant smile as she turned her back and walked away.' 

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